ok well here's where i left of on my last blog:
my mom got married to my ex- step dad. things got crazy and i started cutting. i had my first suicidal attempt in Montana and I'm trying to work these problems out...
after seeing phys and Dr's about this and getting on a number of meds things slowly started to get better. but then fell apart when the abuse started to get worse from both of my "dads"
1.biological father
A. started hitting me and using emotional neglect to get me out of the house saying things like "iv never loved you"
B. so i left
C. he begged me to come back and see him. after i stayed away for a month.
D. all this made my depression worse and the cutting started again.
2. ex- step dad
A. when i was 7 he would pay me to give me spankings and he would deliberately rub my butt
B. i thought nothing of it and told myself it was ok which mad things worse
C. i started to hit puberty and started to mature in both my body and mind. i soon figured out i was being sexual abuse and he stopped
D. things started again but it was verbal sexual assault like "its okay to show a little skin around me". ECT.
you see this is why i don't trust me.
am i crazy to not trust them?
no.
i think we should just clear that know
has this changed my sexual orientation?
yes it has but i still like men... but also like females a little more.
this is only half of my life. my blogs will but only get crazier!!!
